This is my mommy journal. Because let's be honest. It's pretty hard to write in my journal with a baby sleeping on my body. So here it goes.
Being a mommy. Everyone has told me from the beginning of forever that it is the most rewarding thing you will ever do. I'm not quite sure what those rewards are just yet. Baby will be 8 weeks old tomorrow (Halloween, incidentally) and he still has yet to stand up and sing my praises. He did, however, grab a rattle last night, shake it around, and when he heard the noise he giggled a little and started shaking it again. When daddy saw this, he got tears in his eyes and a big smile on his face. A little embarrassed, he took baby's hand and shook it, showing him how to really shake that rattle. "Babe," I say, ever the faithless, "he won't be able to do that yet." at precisely that moment, baby starts shaking his hand around exactly as daddy showed him. I'll show you, mommy.
I honestly thought that my personality would go away, that I would lose my sense of ... well, me. Once I lost myself in being wife and mommy to my two precious loves. But it's really stronger than ever. There are things that I do, I realize, that probably are unique from things other mommies do, and I'm starting to realize that that's what makes this world so colorful - we are all so unique. I thought marriage and mommyhood would make a boring person out of me, but I don't think that's possible. I always have fun, I want my family to have fun, to be happy, to learn to love. We all bring all of who we are to a family. We lay it out on the table and use it to make productive people out of our children, the most important little people in our lives. Lives that, up to that point, seemed important, and indeed, important things surely happened, but nothing will ever have quite the same import as cuddling baby when he is sick, and just loving him with more feeling than you thought your heart capable of having. I've loved every stage of my life, and I'm loving this one more than ever.
~*I've been loving you for quite some time~*
