I SociAliZed!!!

.... and it was fun!!
I have spent the last six weeks fighting integration into the social world.
but guess what!! yesterday AND today I had fun with people that weren't married and weren't my family!!!
I AM SO AWESOMMMMEEE!!!
now on to the next big step: ...
I think it's dating.
I can't think about that yet!
BUT!!
I'm sure I will get there!
and when I do!
you better look out world =)

This morning I studied the very end of the Book of Helaman, in the Book of Mormon.
In chapter 16 verse 21, the wicked people have just finished hearing Samuel, the Lamanite. ah, I love Samuel. He is just so... pure. God tells him to do it, he has no fear and does it. so anyway, in verse 21, they are rationalizing their wickedness, saying that the prophets have "worked some great mystery which we cannot understand, which will keep us down to be servants to their words, and also servants unto them."
Is it just me, or is it a pattern throughout the scriptures:
People don't make sense.
how does it make any sense that these prophets, who are only declaring the word of God, who are asking no money, no support, they are only striving to bring people closer to Christ, they are asking nothing, only declaring repentance, and yet the wicked say that it is done to make people servants of the prophets.
What are they doing to serve the Prophets?
they're not even listening!
they're just throwing rocks and shooting arrows.
I guess I just don't see it.
What I do see, however, is that wicked people work up "some mystery which they cannot understand" unto themselves. they get so into these crazy theories, these false doctrines mingled with small traces of true doctrine, and it all just becomes too mysterious to believe.
I am so grateful to have a living Prophet.
We are encouraged to study the fundamentals of the gospel, the basic principles:
faith, repentance, the atonement of Jesus Christ.
these are basic doctrines.
God loves each and every one of His children.
He has a plan for each of us to return to live in His presence.
The only way to Him is in and through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.
I loved this scripture about Grace i found the other day:
2 Nephi 10:24
I love the scriptures. they bring me closer to Christ.
Pray, ask God, receive.
the answers are there.

*floating along as the melody comes*

BacK to UsuaL ... only not really.

So I've been home now....
nearly five weeks. time goes fast.
Last night I went to a party for one of my little sister's friends.
Her name is Eliza. she turned 16.
being a missionary has made me alot more aware of others.
And it felt natural to offer to help at this party.
Eliza's mom thanked me, she told me that I helped right when she needed me.
Just like a missionary.
that part almost made me cry.
I probably would have cried if i wasn't surrounded by cheery teenagers.
[[i didn't want to be the party killer]]
ah. I miss being a missionary.
I'm naturally awkward, but I fit right in in the mission field.
As a missionary, "awkward" is the new "awesome".
That all changes when the name tag comes off.
Socializing.... well. that's a whole new ball game.
I went to a fireside tonight. I brought a friend, so I had to stay and "socialize" afterward.
I stood against the wall the whole time.
I think i kinda hoped the wall would swallow me whole and i would be spared the awkward pain of having to talk to anybody I didn't know.
James and Andrew saved me from being completely overwhelmed towards the end.
We started talking about our missions.
I truly and seriously used to make alot of fun of people like me.
But now?
well, I'll tell you.
I'm most comfortable in a skirt.
and a backpack.
talking about the gospel.
and testifying about how it's blessed me.
call me crazy.
I do.

~*~*~hold on to that feeling~*~*~