BacK to UsuaL ... only not really.

So I've been home now....
nearly five weeks. time goes fast.
Last night I went to a party for one of my little sister's friends.
Her name is Eliza. she turned 16.
being a missionary has made me alot more aware of others.
And it felt natural to offer to help at this party.
Eliza's mom thanked me, she told me that I helped right when she needed me.
Just like a missionary.
that part almost made me cry.
I probably would have cried if i wasn't surrounded by cheery teenagers.
[[i didn't want to be the party killer]]
ah. I miss being a missionary.
I'm naturally awkward, but I fit right in in the mission field.
As a missionary, "awkward" is the new "awesome".
That all changes when the name tag comes off.
Socializing.... well. that's a whole new ball game.
I went to a fireside tonight. I brought a friend, so I had to stay and "socialize" afterward.
I stood against the wall the whole time.
I think i kinda hoped the wall would swallow me whole and i would be spared the awkward pain of having to talk to anybody I didn't know.
James and Andrew saved me from being completely overwhelmed towards the end.
We started talking about our missions.
I truly and seriously used to make alot of fun of people like me.
But now?
well, I'll tell you.
I'm most comfortable in a skirt.
and a backpack.
talking about the gospel.
and testifying about how it's blessed me.
call me crazy.
I do.

~*~*~hold on to that feeling~*~*~